What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My wife always forces me to suck my bulls dick and balls and even Lick his cum from her face and tits and they even humiliate me very badly plus she always talks about big Dicks everywhere everytime and show me pics of huge cocks what should I do ?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What! how could you do that?

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

Why do men like low maintenance women?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.